I have some sort of crazy crud for the second time during this pregnancy. I must say being pregnant and being sick is for the birds.  I am miserable.  I am already sleepy, I suffer from all day nausea, all day throwing up, exhaustion and just being sleepy.  My day has been far from productive.  I spent much of the day curled up on the chair covered in blankets.  It’s the week before Christmas and here I am being super lazy.

Through this pregnancy, I am learning lessons that I thought I had already mastered. I am a very independent person.  Don’t’ get me wrong I love my husband, my family, and my friends but I’ve got this.  Well, with pregnancy I am needing all sorts of help.  The garbage, I can’t take it out because if I get a sniff of anything I throw up.  Plus its heavy and when I do lift it everyone has a cow. Bending over, I can’t breathe, I try to squat but then my hips hurt.  My hips, they are absolutely killing me.  I don’t’ sleep, can’t get comfortable.

The lessons, I am learning that God placed people in my life to help me, to walk with me, to just do life with.   I can complain, rejoice, cry, scream at and they all still love me.  They get that I am not perfect and are okay.

My husband has been a trooper. He gets all of me.  For the past three pregnancies, he has either been deployed, about to deploy or on a deployment.  This pregnancy has been special because he has been here for the whole kit and caboodle.  The first pregnancy, he was stateside for several months before shipping overseas.  So I was induced while he was still stateside.  He came home late Thursday night, we went to the hospital bright and early Friday morning, our daughter was born that evening.  He had to be back on base Sunday evening so I walked my husband down to his rental car before we were discharged.  After a year of infertility struggles, we found out that we were expecting.  My husbands job and military had him away from home more than he was home.  It was crazy!  Our son, our third, he watched a scheduled c-section via Skype from overseas. They first met when our son was 6 months old.  I hope to use this blog to discuss our life in the military and its impact on our family, marriage and my husband

I am so surprised by the simple fact that as I am getting older I am growing wiser. That whole sentence kind of made me chuckle out loud.  I remember growing up and so many times hearing I’ve been there just listen to me.  Or one day you will wish you had listened to me.  I can’t recall all of them but I remember my Grandma, my mamaw, my mom and my aunts always reminding me that they knew things that I just didn’t understand.

This journey we call life isn’t always easy. Over a year ago my husband was laid off from his job of 8 years.  It was a good job, close to home, good money, and he enjoyed it overall.  We had no alternative.  It was such a tough time for us.  We had just purchased a larger house and had not put ours on the market yet.  I wasn’t even sure how we would eat or pay a bill.  It was beyond difficult.  I was so scared.  Each day had a new challenge, a challenge that I wasn’t sure how we would overcome.  What I quickly learned is it had nothing to do with us but all to do with Jesus and his plans.

I thought this time would never end and there are times that right now I wonder will it ever get better and easier. In some ways, it has, Jon now has a job.  We’ve put all that in our past and daily do our best to put a positive foot forward.  We are trusting that God’s plan is bigger and He had a reason for this.  He did.  One of the biggest lessons we learned is that God is faithful.  He is faithful in EVERYTHING.  He is a peace giving God.  During times when I wasn’t sure of the next minute he gave me a peace that only He can give.  He loved me when I was unlovable, short tempered, and easily frustrated. He carried our marriage when so many people told us just throw in the towel.  He provided more than enough for our kids, our bellies and just our family.

Today as I sit here there are so many struggling. Struggling with Christmas, struggling with their marriage, struggling financially and the list goes on and on.  Life isn’t easy but let me say with Jesus it is so much better!  We find peace in chaos.  We find love when we are unlovable.  We find joy instead of stress, depression, and anxiety.  I can’t type all of this as true if I hadn’t experienced it first-hand.  I am sure I am getting the eye roll.  I was you.  I eye rolled and thought well Jesus isn’t there for me like He is for others.  I can tell you I was wrong.  Dead wrong.  My heart wasn’t in the right place. I was serving myself not Jesus.

It is 8 days until Christmas! As I type that I am thinking to myself we are nowhere near our holiday shopping check list maybe not even half way.  Why is that we do this every year?  I am not sure.  We have BIG plans but our follow through is truly lacking.  I hate to admit that but boy oh boy it is true.  So here we are again.

This year Christmas looks different than it ever has.  We are only doing three gifts per child.  (So, you’d think shopping would be easier?! Lol) It’s the three things they truly wanted.  Santa is bringing family toys. I am anxious to see how it goes.  My kids don’t need anything.  We have more than we deserve.  Over the last several years we have cut back and changed our focus on Christmas.  It isn’t about the presents but it must be about Jesus.

Thursday, yes, I just said Thursday will be my shopping day and hopefully we will finish up in one day.  That’s ambitious since I’ve been wanting to finish since Thanksgiving.  We shall see how it all pans out.

I am going to try to wrap what I have already purchased before Thursday and make sure I haven’t left anyone out.  I am still unsure of who all I need to buy for.  It all works out It always does.  Isn’t that crazy?  We stress and stress and in the end, it works out right before our eyes.  God is so good to us even in our chaotic times.  I am working on stopping and listening more.  I can just hear him saying, “Be still.  I’ve got this all worked out” It amazes me every day that He is involved in those little moments just as much as he is in those big moments.  It’s me who thinks she has it all figured out and knows the best way.  The reality is His plans are perfect we must place our trust in Him.  I am still learning and I am pretty sure I will always be working on this one.

I am not totally sure how to start or where to start, so this first blog post is a little about me and my everyday life. I love Jesus and am a work in progress.  I am a wife of twelve years.  I am a mom of three almost four precious kiddos.  I have an eleven-year-old, seven-year-old, five-year-old and one on the way.  We live in a small rural area where everyone, well almost everyone knows your name or at least they think they know exactly who you belong too.

We homeschool.  This is our fourth year and I am I truly learning everyday what works best for our family and each child.  Its funny because I thought going into the homeschool world that I had all the answers, all the right resources, and the perfect kids for it.  Oh yeah, and I would be perfect!  Over these four years I have learned quickly and its been a growing process for me that each day is a new day.  There is no one fix all for homeschool.  It’s a process for each family and each family is truly unique.

We are very active in our church.  My husband and I facilitate a Life Group, together we lead a team in our preschool area.  We have been active in many different areas however right now we feel we are right where we need to be.  Our church is our family.  I love the community we get to do life with.  It is such a blessing to be surrounded by Godly people who point not only us but our children to Jesus.

My husband served in the Army National Guard for twelve years.  He had a horrible car accident that left him unable to serve.  He served three tours outside the United States and more than I can recall throughout the United States.  He is our very own hero.  I hope to share more of our military life through this blog and how our marriage, family and each of us survived.

This is a blog about a woman who is transparent and is seeking to be more of a Jesus Girl every day. You’ll read the good, the bad, the ugly and sometimes really ugly moments.